Active listening practice
What if we told you listening wasnt as simple as, well, just listening? In fact, different types of listening go beyond learningyou can also listen to improve your relationships, deepen your connections, and build trust. In this article, well walk you through the different types of listening and show you how active listening can help you listen to understandnot just respond. Show
The four types of listeningReady to become a better listener? Heres how. There are four different types of listening:
Active listeningor listening to understandfalls under the category of empathic listening. This type of listening helps you build strong relationships, gain a deeper understanding of your friends and colleagues, and even deepens your own sense of empathy. What is active listening?Active listening is the practice of listening to understand what someone is saying. When you practice active listening, youre exclusively focused on what the other person is saying instead of planning what to say in response as you would during a debate or conversation. To confirm you understand, you then paraphrase what you heard back to the other person. Depending on the conversation, you can also ask a specific, open-ended question to dig deeper into the topic. Active listening helps you have more meaningful and engaged conversations. When youre paying full attention to what the other person is sayingwithout planning what you want to say or interrupting their conversationyou develop more effective communication skills. Active listeners:
The benefits of active listeningActive listening is one of the best ways to build your interpersonal relationships and establish closer connections, especially with team members. This soft skill is a key part of conflict resolution, problem solving, and constructive criticism. When you practice active listening you:
Tips to improve your active listening skillsActive listening is a soft skill that takes time to develop. Try these five active listening techniques to practice this skill. Below, well also dive into a few examples to help you continue building this muscle. 1. Avoid interruptingSometimes, when a conversation is flowing, you want to jump in and add your own ideas, or elaborate on a thought someone else just shared. This type of interruption moves some conversations along, but its not something you want to do when youre actively listening to understand. To practice active listening, dedicate all of your attention and energy towards what the other person is saying. Inevitably, you will have a thought or comment about something they have to say, but try to put those thoughts to the side while youre listening to understand. 2. Listen without judgmentAs you learn about active listening, you may encounter people talking about non-judgmental listening. Non-judgmental doesnt refer to positive or negative judgement. Rather, it refers to your internal monologue. In this case, judgment is any thoughtpositive or negativeyou have about what someone else says. When you have these internal thoughts in reaction to another persons speech, youre inherently focusing on what you think instead of what they have to say. Where possible, try to listen without judgment, and put aside any thoughts that come into your head. Its OK if your point of view is different from the speakers. To be an active listener, simply focus on what they have to say so you can develop a better understanding of the other person. 3. Paraphrase and summarizeOnce the other person is done speaking, paraphrase what you heard back to them in your own words. Paraphrasing helps you ensure you understood what the other person was trying to express. If you paraphrase incorrectly, or miss something they were trying to communicate, they can clarify. Then, you can dig deeper into the conversation. By paraphrasing and summarizingrather than adding any additional informationyoure also demonstrating that your focus was on them. During the paraphrasing, avoid adding any comments or opinions of your own, since the purpose of active listening is to focus on the other person and withhold your own judgement. 4. Model positive nonverbal behaviorBecause youre not doing a lot of talking during the active listening process, the best way to be supportive is to model positive nonverbal behavior. Nonverbal communication is anything you communicate without wordsthings like your facial expression, gestures, posture, and body language. To model positive nonverbal behavior, make eye contact with the person whos speaking, to show them that youre listening. Avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting, since those behaviors typically indicate distraction. You can also smile and nod along, if appropriate. These nonverbal cues not only make it clear to the other person that youre paying attention to what they have to say, they also make the other person more comfortable during the conversation. Tip: If youre meeting virtually, like during a video conference meeting, smile and nod along while the other person is speaking. Avoid multitasking or looking off screeninstead, keep your video on and your attention on the speaker to show youre engaged. 5. Ask specific, open-ended questionsOnce the person finishes their thought, demonstrate youre engaged by asking specific, open-ended questions. Avoid adding your own judgment to those questionsremember, youre focusing on what the other person has to say. For example, ask:
Avoid asking questions or making statements that indicate judgment. For example, instead of:
Example active listening dialogueIf youve never practiced active listening before, it can be a bit confusing to try out yourself. Below, well walk you through an example dialogue between two people, one of whom is supporting their coworker by actively listening. Before we dive into an example, here are some key dialogue elements to use when youre listening to understand:
Example dialogue to practice your active listening skillsYour team member has been tasked with presenting a new initiative to the broader team. Before they do so, they want to run the idea by you for your thoughts. By using active listening skills during this conversation, you can best support your team member and connect with their ideas. Heres an example of how that might go: Coworker: For this initiative, well feature different customers on our company Instagram. Each month, we will align the featured customer with the months broader theme. For example, we could feature a female creator during Womens History Month in February, or a Black creator during Black History Month in October. To practice active listening in this conversation, start by paraphrasing what you heard: You: So what Im hearing you say is you want to feature a different customer on our Instagram each month, and align that program with a larger monthly theme, like Womens History Month Then, ask an open-ended question to dig deeper into the topic: You: What would these posts be like? Coworker: Im thinking they could each do an Instagram takeover for a day. This way we can amplify their voice, as well as show off the work they create. Affirm that youre hearing what they have to say: You: I see, this sounds really cool Then, dig into specifics to demonstrate interest: You: Tell me more about how youd source these creators. Coworker: Well next month is Pride month, so if I get the go-ahead from our manager, Im thinking about reaching out to an openly queer woman Ive already spoken to on Twitter and seeing if shed be interested. Affirm that youre hearing what they said: You: Reaching out to an openly queer woman on Twitter sounds awesome! Then, ask an open-ended question: You: What can I do to help? When to use active listening at workActive listening is a great way to improve your interpersonal communication, but you dont need to practice it 100% of the time. After all, having a dialogue with your manager, direct reports, and peers is important. But in certain situations, being an active listener can improve your relationships. As a managerIf you manage a team, active listening is a great tool to empower your employees and make sure they feel heard. By listening intently and replaying what youre hearing back to your team members, you can ensure they feel supported. Use active listening as a manager to:
When your teammate brings up the problem they need to solve, reflect back on what theyre saying (What I hear you saying is). Sometimes just hearing a problem relayed back inspires someone to realize they already know the answer.Justin Rosenstein, Asana co-FounderRead: How to coach teammates: A key responsibility of effective leaders As an individual contributorManagers arent the only ones who benefit from active listening in the workplace. Even if you dont manage a team, active listening helps you engage with your coworkers and build a more collaborative team environment. When to use active listening as an individual contributor:
Activate your active listening skillsLike any interpersonal skill, active listening takes time. And it isnt something you should use 100% of the timehaving dialogue is important! But when a coworker is sharing something with you, active listening helps you bring empathy, connection, and understanding to the conversation. Listening to understand brings you closer to your team members, in order to lower the barrier to collaboration and boost teamwork. For more tips, learn about the best conflict resolution strategy youre not using. Try Asana today |