Eminem and Rihanna’s recent chart-topper, Love the Way You Lie, tackles the painful and prominent issue of domestic violence without resorting to shallow stereotypes.
The song follows the story of a violent relationship, narrated by the abuser. We are privy to the twists and turns in logic that run through the abuser’s mind as he attempts to justify his behaviour – “but your temper’s just as bad as mine is”, he pleads.
Interestingly though, we also glimpse the moments of clarity – the shame and the galling realisation of what it means to be a woman-beater. And it is this that makes Love the Way You Lie both fascinating and instinctively repulsive – this is not the ramblings of a deluded maniac but of a troubled man struggling to draw lines between love, fear, hate and anger.
Rihanna is noticeably absent for the majority of this track, coming in only for the chorus:
“Just gonna stand there and watch me burn; well that’s alright, because I love the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, well that’s all right because I love the way you lie.”
This is, to say the least, uncomfortable – a song about domestic violence in which the only female voice is reduced to painfully affirming, over and over, how much she loves the beatings.
This has led to commentary that it glorifies domestic violence and makes it acceptable. Indeed, the video [directed by Joseph Kahn and starring Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox] begins with the woman hitting the man, and throughout there is an interplay between sexual passion and violence, which could be seen to be promoting the idea that the victim ‘provokes’ or in fact enjoys the violence.
This is where the role of Rihanna is key. The photo of her horrific domestic violence was shown throughout the world. She asserts it happened to her; she did not cause it. Initially she went back to her perpetrator, but then left him because, “When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result into some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that”.
The idea of the loving relationship is why so many victims return, and through the chorus repeating that she loves the hurt and lies it highlights the psychological hold within violent relationships. Love is used as a reason for both the violence and for staying together.
There is a quiet strength to Rihanna’s singing, and coupled with the ironic undertone of the lyrics, the chorus could also be reaching out to perpetrators. Of course the woman doesn’t love it, and no matter how much he excuses or gets her to excuse the violence, it is not justified.
From 3.13 in the video there appears to be a a point of no return; it only takes a look from the man to stop the woman leaving, and Eminems lyrics push through his excuses and show his acceptance of his violence and power, culminating in the lyrics,
‘I know I’m a liar, if she ever tries to f**kin’ leave again, I’ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire’.
Rihanna’s soulful chorus chimes in straight after, and we know the fate of the relationship.
The video ends with Eminem and Rihanna looking at the burning house, and then a repeat of the first clip of the couple lying in bed. This both emphasises the cycle of abuse and the need to leave the relationship at the point where it becomes abusive.
The song and video leaves you with a haunting insight into the cycle of domestic violence and where it can end up- and gives the message to leave the situation before it is too late. The song’s message is for both the victim and perpetrator, sung by a victim and perpetrator who are no longer in abusive relationships. It sends out the message that there is a way out.
Rihanna was able to leave her situation because the abuse was in the spotlight and she had the financial means to physically get away. The court took it further than she wanted because it was such a high profile case- and even then Chris Brown felt he’d been let off easy due to his status. Recently a TV executive got only 18 months for killing his wife, after an argument over a joint of beef, because the judge deemed it a ‘tragic accident’. For victims to feel able to leave and be safe and for perpetrators to get appropriate help, domestic abuse services and just prosecution are essential.
One in four women and one in six men in the UK will be the victims of domestic violence during their lifetime. Two women a week are killed by a current or former male partner. To get advice on or help with domestic abuse you can:
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Lordy, I know I'm late on this one but Eminem's lyrics are somehow worse than ever. He sure is unoriginal these days, and he seems to yell to make up for the fact that he hasn't anything to say.
I was on a bus a few years ago and some young'n thought the guy was dead. Don't blame him.
Rihanna isn't bad here, it's a way more useful guest spot than on the recent Princess of China with Marshall's homeboys in Coldplay. Too bad Em somehow sounds tired within his yelled delivery.
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Yes, Yes. We all know Windowpane.
But make sure not to forget "look me in the eyeball"!
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I have never understand the massive praise and hype around this song and it’s success offends me. First of all, the mixing is absolute garbage and has aged like shit and is just so incredibly unpleasant! Rihanna’s hook is one of her worst and Eminem’s actual flows are some of his absolute worst. Beyond that though, this song is just absolutely offensive to me. If you don’t know, this song is the story of an abusive relationship, where Rihanna plays the victim and Eminem plays the abuser. The thing is, Eminem is a real life self admitted sexual abuser. And here’s one of the big issues with the writing. Eminem overpowers it! Rihanna only does the hook and part of the bridge, meaning that all the verses, where most of the lyrics are, are done by Eminem who is playing the abuser. This could have worked a lot better if Rihanna had most of the verses and only one was in the abuser’s point of view but most of this song is the abuser’s point of view. And what is the chorus about? How much Rihanna loves the way he’s an abuser! So yeah this song comes across as an abusive relationship in itself. And oh boy, some of the things Eminem as the abuser says just disgust me! There’s a lot of really bad examples but I’m just gonna highlight the third verse. First he tries to gaslight her into coming back telling her how much he “actually loves her” and how “their relationship isn’t actually that crazy” and unfortunately succeeds because she comes back, and then Eminem delivers one of the worst lyrics of all time, “If she ever tries to fucking leave again, i’ma tie her to this bed and set this house on fire” You know what that line reminds me of? SAD! By XXXENTACION, a 2018 hit song that is widely considered one of the worst hits of the decade by YouTube music critics because of the line “suicide if you ever try to let go”. Except Love The Way You Lie is even worse because he isn’t saying he’ll kill himself, he’s saying that he’ll kill her! I Look I hate SAD! as much as the next person but this song is even fucking worse and I legit have no idea how people consider SAD! one of the worst hits of the decade because of the sucide line and then turn around and give this song a pass!
The thing that pisses me off even more is the insane praise this song gets! I mean obviously if you like this song, I’ll respect that, but it still pisses me off. This song became a massive hit only because of its subject matter and seeing a song about abuse where the abuser dominates the song and says the things he says in this song not to mention the rapper playing the abuser in the song is a real life abuser, become massive specifically because of its subject matter while lots of better songs about abuse where it’s from the point of view of the abused didn’t do anywhere near as well offends me. And the fact that this song is looked back at by many as a classic infuriates me so fucking much!
0.5 stars and if I could give it 0 stars I would. One of the worst songs I have ever heard in my life.
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Fucking hell, the song that would set the course for the sound of Eminem's music and his trajectory for the next 10 years...
At the time that this came out, I thought this was cool at first. But then it became a big hit and I heard it on the radio again and again until I grew to hate it. In retrospect, this is even worse due to the overwhelmingly negative impact it's had on Eminem's musical direction since, but even just taken on its own merits, this is terrible.
In concept, being that this is about a particularly volatile moment in a toxic relationship, I think it makes sense that Eminem would be shouting throughout the song. The problem is that he doesn't change the tone of his voice at all and he barely pauses [if at all] in between sentences. SO ALL OF EMINEM'S VERSES SOUND LIKE LONG RUN-ON SENTENCES WHERE HE'S JUST YELLING AT YOU IN THE SAME EXACT TONE AND IT BECOMES VERY MONOTONOUS AND THE LACK OF TONAL CHANGES DIMINISHES THE IMPACT OF HIS WORDS CAN YOU SEE HOW THIS BECOMES A PROBLEM AFTER A WHILE IT MAKES THIS REALLY FRUSTRATING TO LISTEN TO Eminem's last line about setting the house on fire should hit really hard because he's saying some really intense, fucked up shit. But after three verses of shouty words that blend together, there's no weight to it. There's a reason the only thing people really remember about this song is Rihanna's hook.
His flow isn't good on this either. In his prime, the way he flowed sounded so natural and he could switch up with ease. "Lose Yourself" is insane in the way Em was able to tell a story that was easy to follow using such intricate flows without ever not sounding like a person actually speaking. But here, his flow sounds labored. He's so hellbent on maintaining his specific flow throughout the whole song that it forces him to awkwardly pronounce certain words by putting the wrong em-PHAS-is on the wrong syl-LAB-le. It sometimes sounds like the voice on Google translate is rapping its ass off here.
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A pretty troubling song about abuse, given that Eminem’s history of wielding violence against women in his work [including the infamous “Kim,” which led his ex-wife to attempt suicide] and Rihanna’s own history as a survivor of domestic abuse. That being said, I do like Rihanna’s chorus here. Eminem, however, has neither the emotional depth nor the self-awareness to responsibly portray a domestic abuser. GUESS THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT WINDOW PAIN!
What is the message of Love the Way You Lie?
"Love the Way You Lie" is a midtempo hip hop ballad. The lyrics describe a couple's refusal to separate despite having an abusive relationship. It is set in the key of G Minor with a time signature and a tempo of 84 beats per minute.nullLove the Way You Lie - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org › wiki › Love_the_Way_You_Lienull
Who are the couple in Love the Way You Lie?
The single has already topped the charts in several countries, but the video for Eminem's Love the Way You Lie has only just been released online. It features Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan as a couple trapped in the kind of destructive relationship that Hollywood likes to make appealing.nullDoes Eminem and Rihanna's new video glamorise domestic abuse?www.theguardian.com › music › musicblog › aug › eminem-rihanna-videonull
What is the meaning of the Love the Way You Lie music video?
While the video throws a spotlight on the dangers of an abusive relationship with the help of two glitzy Hollywood stars, Monaghan said the message about the destructive, ugly nature of domestic violence is front and center. "There's nothing sexy or cool or fun about being in a violent relationship," he said.nullEminem And Kim's Rocky Past Inspired 'Love The Way You Lie ...www.mtv.com › news › eminem-and-kims-rocky-past-inspired-love-the-w...null